those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
