Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
