Kiss
Puke
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize