He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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