And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Never joke about your clitoris.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize