dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
where does the pee come out of this thing
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Randomize
