Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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