it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
