I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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