May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
