remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
