it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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