Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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