My friends, they love my intelligence
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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