I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
