We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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