they need to just BURY HIM!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
