There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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