i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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