In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So I just went to clothing optional bar
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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