Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
