I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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