I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
