He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
