he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
