hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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