the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
