singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
