There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
