Need sex. Gaining weight.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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