help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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