he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
