If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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