I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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