this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
