a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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