Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
