Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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