Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We left an ass print on the piano.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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