problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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