You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
