Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Randomize
