only if we run a train.
done.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
