My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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