I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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