After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
