Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
