dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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