Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
