some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I have demons in me.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
