And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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